So, I (Heather) am back in the United States. Yes, not we… just me, myself, and I.
This is a first. A Big First. And I’m still not sure how I feel about it.
We spent two weeks in Norway, loving everything about it (more on Norway – and the trip there and back – in posts to come), before making the trip back to Scotland. And that’s when we fell apart.
We cried our way through seven different countries.
One of my very best friends is getting married in August. So, for a long while now we’ve known I would be heading back to the states. We also knew Jay wouldn’t be able to join me, as August would be a time of clinical placement that he wouldn’t be able to get away from.
We made excuse after excuse to wait to buy my ticket back. We needed to see how Jay’s health was getting along before deciding how long I would be away from him. We needed to wait until ticket prices dropped because I wasn’t going to spend over 1,300 USD – highway robbery!! – to get back to Oregon, especially when we paid around 400 USD back in February. We needed to wait to plan my family’s trip over to Scotland so I could match up my return flights with theirs.
We needed to wait for a lot of things, but in reality, I think we needed to wait because we weren’t ready to be away from each other. We were pushing off buying those flights because neither of us wanted to think about being apart from one another for any amount of time.
So, we just kept waiting.. but being ready never came.
We talked (or rather cried) through every possibility, the pros and cons of any and all situations, and finally decided that I should fly back for roughly three weeks to really make the most of my time there, to visit friends and family, and to be able to give Kaylee my all leading up to her big day.
While we were ferrying from Norway to Denmark we bought my tickets. Exactly six days from the day I would be leaving. We found a great deal, the timing was perfect, and all was a go. But the second I hit confirm, we both broke down. Was this the right decision? Am I really going back to the states in six days? How are we going to be apart from each other for that long?
Now, some of you may be thinking we’re silly for questioning every aspect of this flight, after all, it’s about a month away from each other, that’s not long compared to what a lot of people go through.
But… here’s the deal. We aren’t a lot of people. We are us.
We are typically with each other 24/7… and that’s usually within touching distance in Isobel. And, in the four years we’ve been married we’ve been apart for a total of four nights – one for my sister’s bachelorette party and three for Jay’s interviews on the east coast.
We LOVE being with each other. We are each other’s favorite company, and given any chance, we’d rather be with each other than spend time apart. Over and over again we would choose to be together over anything else.
So this time apart from each other is a big deal. We haven’t stopped crying since we bought my tickets, and I don’t think we will until we’re reunited.
We cried through Denmark. Broke down in tears over dinner in Germany and Holland. Cried our whole drive from the south to the north of England. Were in hysterics once we crossed the border into Scotland on Friday and then again all morning Saturday. Waited to the very last minute to say goodbye to each other at the airport, and yes, cried that whole time too. And now, as I’m on my flight, I’m thanking Jesus that I have the window seat so I can cry, cry, cry out the window.
We’re sick to our stomachs over it. Anytime something reminds us of one another, or our time apart we’re a mess. I literally started crying when I was served ice cream on my flight because I knew how much Jay would have loved the caramel/toffee flavor and he wasn’t here for me to share mine with. Talk about a hot mess.. the one where you apply heat to a mess and it gets messier.. (Pitch Perfect Two anyone?!)
I’m fumbling over myself… Broke a brand new bottle of whisky only minutes after I purchased it (luckily the duty-free people replaced it)… Nearly spilled my wine all over my computer on the plane… Got sprayed with soap/water in the bathroom after the sink wasn’t working… And I just randomly start crying thinking about my husband being so far away.
I’ve got a feeling there will be a lot of tears in the next few weeks, like a lot, but I also think it will be a good time for us both. It’s going to be hard in every way, but we’ll come out stronger. We’ll make it through.
Jay will be busy with his clinical placement in St. Andrews, Scotland, while I’ll be busy with catching up with friends and family and celebrating with my dearest friend. We’ll FaceTime loads and
We’re so, SO thankful that we have a relationship where we feel so connected and away from ourselves if we’re not together. We’ve been extremely blessed to be the husband and wife team that we are, and we don’t take that for granted. We know the Lord has something special for this time, however, are already counting down the days till we’re reunited.
If you see me or Jay throughout the month of August, just give us a hug. Understand that we’re both happy for me to be back in Oregon visiting family and friends and celebrating a wedding, but man we miss each other more than words can say. And as a fair warning here, if we start talking about Jay, I’ll probably start crying and snot all over your shirt.. so do be prepared! 😉